From the Journal of a Friendship Crazed Loon
by TypoNumber5
Summary: SEE what goes on in Anzu's mind! HEAR her ramble! FEEL her embarrassment! SMELL her gym socks! ...or don't. Just read. [Now Pro-Anzu! w00t]
1. Days 1 n' 2, antiAnzu

**REALLY, UBER IMPORATANT A/N! READ READ READ!**

I reread what I have so far of this… and it is very anti-Anzu-y, and quite frankly I don't like that. But I know some people don't like Anzu, sooo…. I kept the old chapters and added a special non-bashing remix-type chapter. I combined the first two chapters (being the bashingness ones) into this one, and the following chapter is basically the same thing… minus the bashing. If you don't particularly care about whether or not Anzu is bashed, you might want to read both… personally, I think the first is funnier, but the second is a bit more mature and less twelve-year-old-ish.

Disclaimer: I don not own Yuugiou, and I shan't feel obligated to repeat this through the rest of the fic.

**Chapter 1 – days 1 and 2 – Anti-Anzu-ish**

_** Day 1, 5:34 PM**_

Mrs. Ito, you are an evil person. You hear me? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVIIIIIILLLLLL! How is forcing us to do this going to improve character? How? HOW! It's stupid. I'm an overly happy friendship obsessed person and I will always be! Just like Seto Kaiba is a total jerk and will always be! YOU CANNOT IMPROVE A PERSON'S CHARACTER BY FORCING THEM TO WRITE IN A STUPID BOOK FULL OF BLANK PAPER! JOURNALS ARE POINTLESS! Pointless, I tell you! PPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

And the journal you gave me is black. I hate black. It's an evil color. Just like you. You must have given me your own journal. I'm a nice and friendly person. Mine should be pink or yellow or light blue. Not black.

So you want me to right about my feelings in this, do you, Mrs. Ito? Well I doubt anyone is going to actually do that. You might read it. Even if you say you're not. If you're reading this right now, I HATE YOU! And I know you WILL read this. After all, how are you going to grade us if you're not going to read this? How will you know we've actually been writing in this? Tell me. TELL ME!

Maybe you're just going to read this first page. You seem like the type of person who'd do that. Just to see if we tell you about ourselves. Right. You want to know about us. So here goes,

NAME: Anzu Mazaki

AGE: Fifteen, almost sixteen

LOOKS: I have short brown hair and blue eyes (The color my journal should be! Grrrr...) I'm... um... 5' 6" or something like that. I forget. (sweat drop)

FAV COLOR: Light blue. Or pink. It depends on my mood.

LEAST FAV COLOR: Black, you moron-who-has-given-me-a-journal-of-this-evil- color

FAV FOOD: Ice cream. Ice cream is the best food ever!

LEAST FAV FOOD: Onions. I mean, how can you like something that tastes so bad it makes you cry? Onions are evil!

FAV DRINK: Dr. Pepper. DIET Dr. Pepper.

LEAST FAV DRINK: Onion juice, they tried to serve me that at the school cafeteria once! Our school is weird...

FAV BOOK: The Princess Diaries. (SHE had to write in a journal too!)

LEAST FAV BOOK: The last on we had to read for school. It was so bad I didn't even bother to remember what it was called. Oddly enough, Mrs. Ito, you claim that my report was brilliant. You're stupid.

FAV MOVIE: Lord of the Rings. I don't care which one.

LEAST FAV MOVIE: The Princess Diaries. THEY RUINED THE BOOK I TELL YOU! And do you know what? In book IV, there's this movie they made of Mia's life. And it sounds just like OUR movie. MEG CABOT WAS INSULTING HER OWN MOVIE! PRINCESS DIARIES MOVIE PEOPLE ARE EVIL! EEEEEEEEEVIL!

FRIENDS: Yugi Muto, Katsuya Jounouchi, Hiroto Honda, Ryou Bakura, and a couple cheer leaders: Lizzy, Lilly, Lucy, and Lina (I swear they only pick girls whose names starts with L for the cheer leading squad.)

PEOPLE I HATE: Seto Kaiba, Weevil Underwood AN - forgot his Japanese Name (He's so disgusting!), and Pegasus. Even though he DID have reasons for stealing Mr. Muto's soul, I can still hold a grudge.

I can't think of anything else, so that's all I'm going to tell you. Ha! I'm one my third page and doubt you'd bother to read this far in to my boring life, Mrs. Ito, so I'll say this:

YUGI AND RYOU AND SHADI AND PEGASUS AND MALIK ISHTAR AND ISIS ISHTAR HAVE THSE FIVE THOUSAND YEAR OLD GOLDEN THINGYS CALLED SENNEN ITEMS AND THEY HAVE MAGICAL POWERS AND YUGI'S AND RYOU'S HAVE SPRITS IN THEM AND YUGI'S SPIRIT WAS PHARAOH IN ANCIENT EGYPT AND RYOU'S SPIRIT WAS A TOMB ROBBER AND YUGI'S SPIRIT'S NAME IS YAMI AND HE'S REALLY REALLY REALLY COOL!

And if you read that, Mrs. Ito, you must think I'm completely insane. Which I'm not, but you think I am so that makes you stupid. STUPID!

Are you going to count off for improper grammar? 'Cause if you are... YOU ARE EVILER AND STUIDER THAN I THOUGHT! How can we use proper grammar if we're supposed to reflect on our feelings? More often than not one "!" or "?" will not justify the feeling. WE NEED LOTS OF PUNCTUATION MARKS!

So... yeah...

MY CURRENT FEELINGS: Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really bored. Extremely bored. Unbelievably bored. I didn't know it was POSSIBLE to be this bored. But I am. So yeah.

But tomorrow is Saturday. And I get to go bowling with Yugi, Jounouchi, Honda, and Ryou! YEAH! Bowling is FUN!

Alright, I admit it. I've never been bowling before in my life. Well, maybe once. When I was seven, I went to this bowling party. I didn't get to bowl, though, because I drop a ball on my foot and had to leave early to go the doctors.

Bowling balls are heavy.

But I'm stronger now! I'm older! I'LL KEEP MY GRIP ON THAT STUPID BALL! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay, not an Anzu-the-friendship-obsessed-loon laugh. Let's see...

TEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

Yes, that's better. I think.

Actually, that sounds kinda lame. And it's a pain to write. I think I'll stick to "MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!" and when you brake your sworn promise NOT to read this, Mrs. Ito, you'll have to mentally replace it with "TEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"

Right. Back to the matter at hand.

I'm BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I know! I'll rant pointlessly about friendship and then call Yugi up and read it to him!

Let's see... AHEM! Friendship is the most powerful force in existence and if we, as friends, stick together then...

Then...

Ah, screw it.

I can't think of anything. I'm getting bad vibes from the blackness of this evil journal of DOOM. Besides, writing all that friendship stuff I rant makes my hand hurt. So... I'll call Yugi up and make the rant up from the top of my head! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

...Remember, you have to mentally replace that with "TEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"

Right. Yeah. Whatever.

...I'm going to hide the blacknessnessness of this thing in my closet while I call Yugi... Don't want the darkness to cloud my mind while giving speech on friendship...

Yugi wasn't there. Got his grandfather. He hung up as soon as I said the word "friendship." Think he's on to my evil plan.

Evil? Did I say evil?

No, of course I didn't. I wrote it.

WAITAMINUTE!

I just wrote the word "evil"! And I wasn't referred to something I mentally cannot stand or am currently having hateful thought towards! I REFERRED TO SOMETHING RELATING DIRECTLY TO MYSELF AS EVIL!

GAAAAAAASP!

I just admitted to having hateful feelings! ANZU MAZAKI DOES NOT HAVE HATEFUL FEELINGS! I'm the forever-happy, brightful girl that hangs out with Yugi. I HAVE NO NEGATIVE FEELINGS!

Wait... brightful isn't a word. Must make a mental note of that...

Yeah.

I'm bored.

This journal is completely pointless. I'm not accomplishing anything. Wish I had someone to rant about friendship to. Where's Yugi when you need him?

I know! I'll call Ryou! He's probably NICER than Yugi, therefore more likely to pay attention to pointless ramblings about friendship and related subjects. I'll call him right now! And you, journal, must go back in the closet so that you don't make me forget the GREATNESS of friendship.

Ryou didn't answer. It was his yami. Got a very nice lesson in Egyptian swear words. It wasn't very nice.

Yes, I know I'm annoying. Yes, I know a lot of people can't stand me. Yes, I know that friendship speeches won't solve EVERYTHING. But I don't think I'm OBSESSED with it... I mean, COME ON. It's not like my world revolves around friendship!

Or, at least, I would like to THINK it doesn't.

Or maybe I DO. I'm not sure. But I DO KNOW I like talking about it. I gives me warm, happy feelings... It should give EVERYONE warm happy feelings! I am an average teen! THEREFORE EVERYONE IS LIKE ME! THEY MUST ENJOY FRIENDSHIP! FOR FRIENDSHIP IS...

Is...

I HATE YOU MRS. ITO! You gave me an evil black journal of DOOM that has given me friendship-block.

...Yes, friendship-block. There is such a thing. Don't argue with me about that.

Mom's calling me for dinner. Gotta go. SO LONG FOREVER EVIL BLACK JOURNAL OF DOOOOOOOM!

_**Day 2, 3:34 AM**_

I have come to a startling realization. I hate black. Black is darkness. But... Yami is darkness, too... and I like Yami... So is it that I actually like darkness? Should I not be mad at you, journal? Should I like your color your darkness?

Maybe darkness can be good. Maybe it's not darkness that should be feared and hated, but the evil that hides with in it.

Maybe darkness is not bad. We humans have mark it has a terrible thing, but there is really nothing wrong with darkness. We fear the unknown. Darkness being unable to see is unknown, so we've marked it as evil... Black is not evil, but rather neutral; hiding both good and bad...

Oh, God... I'm confusing myself. Too tired (yawn). Will go back to sleep...

_ 12:46 PM_

I am SOOO embarrassed!

When I said I couldn't bowl I wasn't kidding. We've play 3 games and I've knocked over a total of, oh, say, SIX PINS! Honda claims it's his first time bowling and he's doing WAAAAY better than me...

So far, Yugi is winning (duh). He keeps picking up spares. First, he knocks down most of the pins then Yami takes over and knocks the rest down... Talk about teamwork.

Ryou is surprisingly good at this. He's was only about 5 points behind Yugi and Yami in the first two games and I'm guessing he'd be winning if his yami didn't keep taking control and running off to the video games. A lot of people left the alley with A LOT of missing change...

So anyway, I decided NOT to compete in the third game (too bad to go on... ;;). I am now sitting in the bathroom and ranting away in THIS STUPID JOURNAL!

Why am I still writing in this? Jounouchi claims he just wrote like three lines in his yesterday... Yugi and Ryou have like a page and Honda hasn't even started his yet...

My cell phone's ringing...

OHMYGOD! It was Dad... Grandma's sick and in the Hospital! Got to go!

_ 9:08 PM_

Note to self: KILL Dad. Grandma is fine. She's still living in some fancy Tokyo apartment with four cats and a creepy landlord. Dad just wanted me home.

Why, you ask?

BECAUSE MY PSYCHO AUNT IS MOVING IN WITH US!

This is bad. Not good. Horrible. Bad, bad, bad.

You see, Aunt Kagami is exactly the most SANE person in the world. Apparently, she got kicked out of her apartment AGAIN and was fired from her job... AGAIN. Grandma (her own MOTHER!) refuses to let her crash with her so dad (being her much older brother) agreed to let her stay with us...

MY LIFE IS ENDING! DEATH IS UPON US! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, I can handle this... I just need to take deep breaths and think happy thoughts of friends.

Friends... not helping... Slowly slipping into panic mode...

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kagami is moving in on Thursday, so that gives me about five days to talk her out of it... But how? How do you talk an insane woman out of living with you? After thinking this problem over for an hour or so I went straight to the expert: Ryou Bakura.

As to avoid what happened LAST TIME I called Ryou's house I decided to mask my voice on the off chance that his yami was in control at the moment. My conversation went something like this...

"Moshi moshi?" said a deep voice.

Disguising my own (voice, that is), I answered, "Moshi moshi! My I please speak to Ryou?"

"One second; may I ask who's calling?"

At this point I figured out it was his dad.

"Um..." I replied in a very itelligant manner. "No."

"Why not?" Mr. Bakura wanted to know.

"It's a, uh, secret."

"OOOOOOOoooooOOOOOooooohhhhhhhhhh! I get it!"

"Huh?"

He pulled away from the phone and yelled. "RYOU! PHONE!"

I barely made out Ryou's voice in the background. "Who is it?"

I assumed Mr. Bakura was handing over the phone as he said something very, very wrong: "Your secret admirer." You could just SEE him winking at poor Ryou.

"Eh?" I squeaked.

"Uh, hello?" Ryou was on the phone now.

I hung up the phone as fast as possible.

How embarrassing! I mean, me and RYOU? He's nice and all, but I just can't see me and him TOGETHER. I am never going to call Ryou again...

Hmmm? My mom just said she's going out to buy a futon for Aunt Kagami... Wait, WHAT? She's going to stay in MY ROOM?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kagami can't stay in MY ROOM! Who knows what she'd do to it! We visited her for Christmas two years ago... Her entire apartment was painted BLOOD RED! I mean who in there right minds would paint a room that color, never mind the whole apartment? And she had dumped like ten gallons of glitter on her carpet (which was BLACK!). I mean, it looked kinda cool (a side from the fact it was black) but you got glitter stuck to your foot where ever you went. Plus, she has something against "white light." Her whole apartment was lighted by lava lamps... And she had these paintings of people being BEHEADED every where you looked... and these cardboard dolphins covered with tin foil were all over the place... and she had like 50 goldfish...

It was WEIRD.

Plus, my Aunt is infamous for joining this "vampire cult" thing when she was in college... She STILL (according to dad) cuts herself every once and a while to drink the blood.

Friend obsessed person + Vampire Woman not fun

I CANNOT let my friends know I'm related to her!


	2. Days 1 n' 2, proAnzu

And the Pro-Anzu version…

**_Day 1 – 5:34 PM_**

Mrs. Ito, I hate you. You are an evil, evil woman, and I hope you suffer for it one of these days. I can't BELIEVE you… you, you… TACTLESS… insensitive… SOMETHING I can't write in this DAMNED journal! I mean, journals? Come on… What's the point? It won't improve my character, or anyone else's for that matter. In fact, most people will probably just write some random thing that they didn't even do… That's what I'd be doing now, except my stupid, STUPID morals get in the way.

Stupid conscience.

And you didn't even give me a color I like. You could have given me the baby blue spiral note book, or the purple one, or that one pink one you gave Kaiba (okay, I'll admit, that WAS funny), but no. You give me black. I don't like black. I hate the wannabe Goths who immerse themselves in it; I hate the way people are always all like "leik oMG its nott a reel calor!1" about it. I just don't like it.

So you want me to write about my feelings in this, do you, Mrs. Ito? Well I doubt anyone is going to actually do that. You might read it. Even if you say you're not. If you're reading this right now, I HATE YOU! And I know you WILL read this. After all, how are you going to grade us if you're not going to read this? How will you know we've actually been writing in this? Tell me. Tell me!

Perhaps you intend to read the first page, then skim the rest. Well. You want to know about us? Fine.

My name is Anzu Mazaki. My first name means apricot. Deal with it.

I'm in my second year of high school, and I'll be turning 16 in three months. You better know what I look like, 'cause I'm in your class. Too stress a point: My favorite color light blue while my LEAST FAVORITE is BLACK.

But do you know what I DO like? Ice cream. Yes, ice cream… mmmmm….

We have a tub of samoa girl scout cookie ice cream in the freezer right now. It roXXorz. It's so… so… samoa-y. But I digress. (That's such a great word… along with "quip"…)

Let's see, what else about me? Well… I'm sure you can tell who my friends are, Mrs. Ito, so what about the people I don't like? Hmm…

First of all, there's Seto Kaiba. He's an arrogant, slightly masochistic bastard. Hate is too strong of a word for him, though… but he still REALLY gets on my nerves. ("Destiny? I HATE destiny and any thing slightly supernatural despite all the random flashbacks I've had of my past life! GRRaaaWWRRRrrr!")

Then there's Insector Haga. He's gross and he cheats. He ripped up Yugi's soul card… well, it wasn't really, but, dammit, we thought it was! Stupid heartless ass made Mou Hitori no Yugi cry… (of course, under different, not-on-top-off-a-speeding-train-careening-toward-our-DOOM circumstances I think I would have laughed…)

And Pegasus… well, he did have an almost-valid reason for stealing various people's souls, but there's such a thing as a grudge.

Yami no Malik. You'd have no idea who he is, Mrs. Ito, but he sucked. Along with the Doom Organization… and Mai Kujaku when she's being a bitch.

Vivian Wong and Rebecca! The two Yugi fangirls! GAH! They're so frickin' annoying. I did kinda make peace with Rebecca, but VIVIAN….. grrRRRRrrrRRRRr…..

Finally, Cockroach Man: Yami no Bakura himself. He just won't go away. But I'm getting used to him, at least… hopefully.

So. Those are the people I don't really like. And I've wasted about two pages with boring ramble, so you've probably stopped reading, Mrs. Ito. Nyah. In case you still are….

There are these things called Sennen Items, and they are sshhhhIIIIIIIIneeeey, and some of them have spirits of random ancient Egyptians in them, and Yugi has one, and Ryou has one, and they both have spirits in them, and Yugi's is cool, and we call him Mou Hitori no Yugi, but in fanfiction we usually shorten it to Yami Yugi because we're lazy, and Ryou's is called Bakura for the same reason, and they possess their hikaris/hosts/whatevers, and it is neat.

And if you read through that on-and-on sentence without several eye convulsions and retained the vague notion that I am a sane human being, there's something wrong with you.

…

Not that I'm insane. It's just that my life is.

…

…

I'm boooooooooooored. Really bored. Really, really, really, really, really bored. Extremely bored. Unbelievably bored. I didn't know it was possible to be this bored. But I am. So yeah.

Lessee…

OH! Tomorrow, Saturday, I'm going bowling with Yugi, Jounouchi, Honda, and Ryou! Yay! Bowling is FUN!

…

Okay. So I've been bowling once in my life and failed miserably at it. (I was at this party in first grade; I dropped the bowling ball on my foot. Owie.) I'm just glad that our school decided to "be more western" and add Saturday to the weekend schedule a couple years ago. It would suck to only have Sunday off…

BUT! Tomorrow I will succeed at bowling! I shall keep my grip, and I shall not drop ANYTHING! NYAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

…

Okay. That was a weird laugh.

….

….

Boooooooooredom…

I know! I'll call up Yugi and blast my new CD at him over the phone! Ruin his eardrums! Impare his hearing! NYAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

Right. I think I'll just stop writing the laughing at all… no, I don't laugh like that in real life, just in my head….

So. Calling Yugi now.

…

…

…

Yugi wasn't home. Mutou Ojii-chan said something about selling lawn gnomes with Jounouchi and Honda. I'm scared.

I'll call Ryou. HE'S not selling gnomes or whatever.

…

…

Ryou didn't answer. It was his yami. Got a very nice lesson in Egyptian swear words. It wasn't very nice.

sigh-

Fine, I'll just babble about my CD in this stupid thing…

Yesterday I went to Target, and as I was heading over to check out the make-up and passed by the imported CDs, and there was Hikaru Utada! I'm so out of it that I hadn't heard about her English CD… but now I own it! Heh, heh. But I don't like it as much as her Japanese ones… It was too AZN Powah-y… I mean, what is Japanesey?

I guess it's because the only major Asian singer in American pop-culture is William Hung… who got famous because he can't sing. Weird.

Well, as much as I'd like to rant about how weird Americans are (particularly a certain, teddy-toting, swearing blonde), mother dearest is calling me to dinner. So long, hateful journal of doomness.

_**Day 2, 3:34 AM**_

Gyuh. Juss' got a prank call… errgh… so tired…

But do you know what the call was? Someone chanting, "Meiwaku, meiwaku, meiwaku," over and over. Grawr. I swear, if I ever find this person, I will personally KILL them.

Bowling in the morning. Whoo.

_8:42 AM_

I feel asleep on my journal. Oopsies? I'm glad I didn't drool on it or anything… but there were weird marks from the spiral binding across my face when I woke up. I looked so sexy… (sarcasm)

_ 12:46 PM_

I am SOOO embarrassed!

When I said I couldn't bowl I wasn't kidding. We've play 3 games and I've knocked over a total of, oh, say, SIX PINS! Honda claims it's his first time bowling and he's doing WAAAAY better than me...

So far, Yugi is winning (duh). He keeps picking up spares. First, he knocks down most of the pins then Yami takes over and knocks the rest down... Talk about teamwork.

Ryou is surprisingly good at this. He's was only about 5 points behind Yugi and Yami in the first two games and I'm guessing he'd be winning if his yami didn't keep taking control and running off to the video games. A lot of people left the alley with A LOT of missing change...

So anyway, I decided NOT to compete in the third game (too bad to go on... -.-;;). I am now sitting in the bathroom and ranting away in THIS STUPID JOURNAL!

Why am I still writing in this? Jounouchi claims he just wrote like three lines in his yesterday... Yugi and Ryou have like a page and Honda hasn't even started his yet...

My cell phone's ringing...

OHMYGOD! It was Dad... Grandma's sick and in the Hospital! Got to go!

_9:08 PM_

Note to self: KILL Dad. Grandma is fine. She's still living in some fancy Tokyo apartment with four cats and a creepy landlord. Dad just wanted me home.

Why, you ask?

BECAUSE MY PSYCHO AUNT IS MOVING IN WITH US!

This is bad. Not good. Horrible. Bad, bad, bad.

You see, Aunt Kagami is exactly the most SANE person in the world. Apparently, she got kicked out of her apartment AGAIN and was fired from her job... AGAIN. Grandma (her own MOTHER!) refuses to let her crash with her so dad (being her much older brother) agreed to let her stay with us...

She is eviler than Ito.

If you've never met Aunt Kagami, you wouldn't understand… you just… wouldn't.

I am not related to this woman. She is an alien grandma found it a crop circle.

…

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kagami is moving in on Thursday, so that gives me about five days to talk her out of it... But how? How do you talk an insane woman out of living with you? After thinking this problem over for an hour or so I went straight to the expert: Ryou Bakura.

As to avoid what happened LAST TIME I called Ryou's house I decided to mask my voice on the off chance that his yami was in control at the moment. My conversation went something like this...

"Moshi moshi?" said a deep voice.

Disguising my own (voice, that is), I answered, "Moshi moshi! My I please speak to Ryou?"

"One second; may I ask who's calling?"

At this point I figured out it was his dad.

"Um..." I replied in a very intelligent manner. "No."

"Why not?" Mr. Bakura wanted to know.

"It's a, uh, secret."

"OOOOOOOoooooOOOOOooooohhhhhhhhhh! I get it!"

"Huh?"

He pulled away from the phone and yelled. "RYOU! PHONE!"

I barely made out Ryou's voice in the background. "Who is it?"

I assumed Mr. Bakura was handing over the phone as he said something very, very wrong: "Your secret admirer." You could just SEE him winking at poor Ryou.

"Eh?" I squeaked.

"Uh, hello?" Ryou was on the phone now.

I hung up the phone as fast as possible.

How embarrassing! I mean, me and RYOU? He's nice and all, but I just can't see me and him TOGETHER. I am never going to call Ryou again...

Hmmm? My mom just said she's going out to buy a futon for Aunt Kagami... Wait, WHAT! She's going to stay in MY ROOM?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kagami can't stay in MY ROOM! Who knows what she'd do to it? We visited her for Christmas two years ago... Her entire apartment was painted BLOOD RED! I mean who in there right minds would paint a room that color, never mind the whole apartment? And she had dumped like ten gallons of glitter on her carpet (which was BLACK!). I mean, it looked kinda cool (a side from the fact it was black) but you got glitter stuck to your foot where ever you went. Plus, she has something against "white light." Her whole apartment was lighted by lava lamps... And she had these paintings of people being BEHEADED every where you looked... and these cardboard dolphins covered with tin foil were all over the place... and she had like 50 goldfish...

It was WEIRD.

Plus, my Aunt is infamous for joining this "vampire cult" thing when she was in college... She STILL (according to dad) cuts herself every once and a while to drink the blood.

She will ruin my reputation… my friends must never know of this. Never ever.

Ever.

* * *

Anzu's comments on Hikaru Utada's English CD are almost direct quotes from my Japanese teacher.  



	3. Day 3

From the Journal of a Friendship Crazed Loon  
Day 3 By TypoNumber5  
  
A/N: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am EVIL. EEEEEEEVIL!! *receives several odd looks* Whaaat? I am!  
  
Okies... reviewer responses...  
  
Anonymous - The difference between Anzu and Tea? Well... Anzu is a whole lot smarter than Tea, and she doesn't rant about friendship as much...  
  
Sydny - Heehee... that sounds like my journal... Only now a days I only write in it to rant about the unfairness of school...  
  
Akuhoshi - No, I don't think my Anzu sounds like Tea. Just because Anzu doesn't rant about friendship as much doesn't mean she doesn't do it. It's just that Anzu is perfectly aware of that where Tea isn't... Remember Yami's duel with Johnny Steps? Anzu DID give him a nice long rant (it wasn't exactly about friendship, though) and then after he left she turned to Yami and said something along the lines of, "I talked too much, didn't I?" So... yeah. I admit I might have over done it in the first chapter, but that was because I wrote that a REALLY long time ago under the name Tea and, in my campaign against 4Kids, later changed it to Anzu. Let's just pretend she was in a "friendship mood."  
  
Ethelflaed - No, I won't bash Anzu. Just don't get mad at me if I mentally torture her to the point where she lights the school on fire.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
Day 3, Sunday, 3:09 PM  
  
See that pretty masking tape line on my bedroom floor? It's dividing my room in two. This side is mine, and that side is Aunt Kagami's. You can messed with that side as long as you leave this side alone. Got that?  
  
Right... so what else have I done today? Nothing. Okay, my life is miserable...  
  
ANZU MAZAKI'S LIST OF 25 THINGS YAMI BAKURA WOULD NEVER SAY  
  
+ Back off, melodramatic one!  
  
+ Dude, a bunny suit with a Scottish kilt is SO not your thing.  
  
+ Oh, for the love Ra, just give me the freakin' puzzle!!  
  
+ Jumping jelly beans, ye evil plot has gone a muck!  
  
+ Hikari... what does Dark Sanctuary do again?  
  
+ I like Millennium Items... they're so... Millennium-y!  
  
+ I sleep in Bob the Builder pajamas!  
  
+ You only think I'm crazy because I am.  
  
+ I'm "schizophrenic"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? It means you have a multiple personality disorder, moron. Oh. Okay. Wait...  
  
+ I wanna bunny.  
  
+ Muhahahahahaha... GOLDFISH!  
  
+ I am the Marshmallow Peep God! FEAR MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
+ Who likes short shorts? I like short shorts! Da na na na na na...  
  
+ The name's Bakura. Yami Bakura. *a la James Bond*  
  
+ Don't get mad, get Glad!  
  
+ Candy corn. It's all about the candy corn.  
  
+ Screw the Egyptian gods! Let's all go worship Aphrodite, that babe.  
  
+ *cheering* Let's go, Yami! LET'S GO!! *clap, clap*  
  
+ I LOVE friendship!! Friend makes the world go 'round!  
  
+ You take French? You loser! DIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
+ Those who take Spanish shall join me in world domination!  
  
+ VAMPIRE-ISM!!!!! *bites orange*  
  
+ Love and peace! Love and peace! *Think Vash (Trigun)*  
  
+ *singing* Oops! I did it again...  
  
+ Banana pineapple juice... who doesn't like banana pineapple juice?  
  
+ LOVE AND PEACE, DAMMIT!!!!  
  
Yeah... I have no life. -_-;;  
  
~ 6:34 PM  
  
Kagami's futon is like... black. O_____o;;  
  
~ 6:42 PM  
  
We're going out to dinner... yay. Some place called "Burger Land." I bet Yugi would love it. I'm in the car right now. You know... I used to take this road to work...  
  
~7:13 PM  
  
x_X  
  
Note to self: KILL Dad.  
  
Do you know what he did? He got the name of the fast food place wrong. Its Burger WORLD.  
  
X_x  
  
For those of you who don't know: I used to work here. However, its against school rules to have a job without permission and I risked getting expelled. So, naturally, I didn't tell anyone. Including my family. I was fired anyway... punched out a customer when he touched my butt...  
  
But still. They KNOW me here.  
  
x_X  
  
Hoshi greeted us at the door. She was all like, "Hi, Anzu-chan!"  
  
I smiled and said "hi" back, but when we sat down dad goes, "You KNOW her?"  
  
X_x  
  
I told him that I used to come here a lot with Yugi. Hoshi's very talkative and makes friends with a lot of the customers that she doesn't annoy to death. Dad bought this, seeing as Hoshi was currently telling a very serious looking businessman her life story.  
  
Oh. My. God.  
  
x_X  
  
Insector HAGA just walked in. Why me? Why MEEEEEEEEE????  
  
I'll just hide under the table and hope he doesn't notice me.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Crap. He saw me. Why? Mom doesn't want me under the filthy table.  
  
Haga, what are you doing? He's coming over... Insector Haga is coming over to annoying me.  
  
Yes, Dad, I've met him before.  
  
No, Dad, he's not my secret boyfriend. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW...  
  
Wait, Mom LIKES him???  
  
MOM!! He's not a perfect gentlemen! He's a cheating, bug-faced maggot!!  
  
...  
  
I am NOT sitting with him! Dad, stop winking at me like that. I. _HATE_. HAGA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
UGH!!! I'm sitting with HAGA. And he's FLIRTING with me. Would slap him, but Mom would KILL me if I did.  
  
Why does my mom like Haga?  
  
...  
  
WILL. NOT. KILL. UGLY. BUG. BOY.  
  
...  
  
I can't even eat with him in my presence. Maybe if I pretended he was Yami Yugi...  
  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW...  
  
BAAAAAAAAAAAD mental images.  
  
...  
  
I think I'm gonna throw up...  
  
I hope no one I know sees me...  
  
...  
  
I jinxed myself, didn't I? Seto Kaiba just walked in. Uuuuuuuugggggghhhhh...  
  
Don't look at me like that, Kaiba. Don't--  
  
Oh crap.  
  
"I didn't know you hung around with low levels like HIM." Kaiba says.  
  
Death glare.  
  
"Although, I suppose, he might be all a girl like you can get."  
  
DEATH glare.  
  
Mom's coming over. So is dad. Ha, Kaiba, you're going to get it. My parents don't like it when people harass me.  
  
...  
  
Wha? They're being friendly?  
  
...  
  
WHY?????????? They're being all polite and nice and asking if I was bothering him! NO! He was bothering ME! My parents have never been impressed by money or anything... why are they acting like this?  
  
...  
  
Haga, stop staring at my chest... *twitch* *twitch*  
  
...  
  
Okay, Kaiba's going over and buying take-out. I've kicked Haga in the leg hard enough to leave a nasty bruise, so he's stopped staring at me. For now.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Wait, what was Seto Kaiba doing buying food in a dingy joint like this???  
  
Hey, the manager is talking to my parents...  
  
Oh no...  
  
Dad looks mad. I think he just figured out why I used to come home late...  
  
...  
  
"Anzu, mind telling me WHY you risked being expelled to get a job you don't NEED?"  
  
Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap-- "Well, you see dad," -- ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap-- "there we a bunch of people at school who were getting jobs without permission," --ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap-- "and... uh... peer pressure?" OHCRAP!! Stupid, stupid, stupid...!  
  
Now dad's ranting up a storm. Everyone's staring at us. Mom's crying. Dad's turning red... now purple... I hope he doesn't hurt himself. I'll just tune out now...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Well. I'm grounded now. I lost my allowance too. And Haga's gone back to staring at me... grrrrrrrrr...  
  
He says that because I lost my privilege to see the outside world for a while, he'd bring the outside world to me and then when I was free I could pay him back with a date.  
  
...  
  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Alright, that's it, now you DIE!!  
  
~9: 14 PM  
  
Well... I got into even MORE trouble after what I did to bug boy. But he deserved it.  
  
Basically, I punched him in the face and his glasses fell off... then I dumped pepper in his eyes... and kicked him a couple times... and somehow got ketchup all over him so that he looked like he was bleeding really bad.  
  
FWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (and no, you don't have to replace that with "TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!!!")  
  
I think they took him to the hospital. o______O;;;;;;;  
  
Tomorrow's school... ugh... I should get to bed now...  
  
Stupid school.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
Um... yeah. I wrote that in two minutes. o_O  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	4. Day 4

From the Journal of a Friendship Crazed Loon  
  
Day 4  
  
By TypoNumber5  
  
OK, I pretty much slapped this together in five minutes. I figured that if I didn't update now, I wouldn't update all summer. So... TADA!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. If I did, I wouldn't have let 4Kids get their hands on it.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
11:23 AM, Japanese  
  
Ito-sensei. EVIL woman. She's giving us time to write in our journals, as many people didn't bother over the weekend.  
  
How come they get a break and I don't, I ask you?  
  
Sugaku-sensei is an evil man. He's eviler than Ito-sensei. He's evil incarnated. He's pain and suffering personified. He is the monster little kids are afraid is under their bed. Why do I think this, you ask?  
  
HE GAVE ME A FRIGGIN' ALGEBRA TUTOR!!!!!!!!!  
  
See, in the whole Aunt Kagami/Insector Haga incident, I forgot about my Algebra homework. JUST my Algebra homework. I did everything else, EXCEPT the Algebra. So he gives me a tutor.  
  
Even though I have one of the highest grade point averages in the class.  
  
And guess who my tutor is?  
  
SETO KAIBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Look, I'm sure Kaiba is smart and all, Sugaku-sensei, but you can't make me study with him for a half-hour after school everyday. We don't get along. Never have, never will. He's even on the "People I Don't Like" list in this thing.  
  
I feel so sorry for myself.  
  
This is what my days will be like from now on: First, wake up at an ungodly hour. Second, tire my legs out by running to school. Third, get laughed at by Jounouchi for have a math tutor. Forth, sit through BORING lesson after BORING lesson. Fifth, talk with Kaiba about my "bad" grades (HA!) and let him teach me things I ALREADY KNOW in his stuck-up, arrogant, I'm-better- than-you way. Sixth and last, I get to go home and do nothing except homework.  
  
Although, I suppose, I COULD sneak calls to my friends.  
  
And Kaiba probably won't agree to tutor me. He didn't look too happy when Sugaku-sensei informed him of this.  
  
Maybe I can get out of some of this?  
  
12:23 PM, lunch  
  
I figured I could talk to Ryou about my aunt problem. He's too nice to tease me, and he has to put up with that yami of his. I'm sure that if Kagami was a male, 5,000-year-old tomb robber she'd be just like him.  
  
I cornered Ryou just after he came out of the lunch line. I wasn't sure how to start so I just sputtered around.  
  
"Um... Ryou? Can we talk?"  
  
He blinked, "Alright."  
  
I shuffled my feet, "You're pretty used to psychopaths banging around your house, right?"  
  
He gave me an odd look but nodded.  
  
Even more unsure of what to say, I went on. "Um... you know your yami..." I had no idea where I was going with this, but I didn't have to worry about it. Do you know what his yami did? He took over!  
  
"What about me?" He glared daggers at me. Stupid Bakura.  
  
I glared back. "I don't want to talk to YOU, I want to talk to RYOU."  
  
"But you want to talk ABOUT me," he snarled. "I think I have a right to know what people are saying about me behind my back."  
  
"I wasn't going to talk about you!"  
  
He sneered. "Then why talk to Hikari? Why not the pharaoh?" He spat out that last word like it was a curse.  
  
"I thought Ryou would know more about it," I replied. Then I spun on my heel and stomped over to the table I was sharing with Yugi, Jounouchi, and Honda.  
  
Stupid Bakura.  
  
Oh god. Kaiba's coming over here. Why? Why is he coming over here? This better not be about the tutoring! Grrrr...  
  
4:16, after school  
  
It was about the tutoring. Mr. I'm of Superior Intelligence gave me a nice long rant about how he had better things to do then waste his time teaching a moron their times tables, but that he HAD to do it because Sugaku-sensei was threatening to take points off if he didn't and he just HAD to have a perfect score.  
  
I think that's a movie. The Perfect Score, I mean. I saw adds for it online when I was practicing English. Never try practicing English online unless you want to learn all their weird computer slang. I figured out there are dialects of this "Interglish": the l33t d14l3ct, the abrv dl, and the freekay zpellin diulekt. None of which I can understand.  
  
Back to the point.  
  
Tutoring! GAH! Kaiba said he'd tutor me, but only at his house, erm, mansion. That's fine with me. After all, it's a MANSION. And he's giving me a ride. In his LIMO. And I'll get to talk to Mokuba.  
  
This might not be so bad.  
  
Except that Jounouchi thinks it's the world's funniest joke. By tomorrow I'll be the laughing stalk of Japan. At least Yugi understands that I forgot my homework because of the whole Burger World incident. (I could tell them about THAT. I can tell them anything. Execpt about Kagami. I can't tell them about my aunt. )  
  
This really isn't fair. Jounouchi's making straight Ds and HE never had to get tutoring. Why does Sugaku hate me? WHY???  
  
sigh  
  
I hate life...  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
God, its not even 1000 words. xX  
  
Anyway, I'm not going to update my script-format fics for a while. Why? FF.net is evil: That's why. They no longer allow users to have asterisks or underscores in their work. I'm hoping they'll fix this in the near future. That emoticon up there is a test. If it's just two X's, then...  
  
DAMN YOU, FANFICTION.NET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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